CSZ Rambles: 1/29/2018

Entry #2

This entry served as the foundation for the CSZ episode “Got Me Lookin’ So Lazy Right Now”. You can listen to it here.

I’ll be the first person to tell you that I’m lazy. That doesn’t mean that I don’t get things done; I just do it on my own time. But sometimes, at least for me, it’s very easy to get caught up in that in different aspects of your life. So for me it looked like this: I’ve had a pile of clothes - half clean, half dirty - in my desk chair because I wasn’t able to do all of my laundry when I unpacked from break. It was taking up space and was stressing me out, especially because my roommate keeps things clean, and I know that I’m capable of doing the same. So although it wasn’t groundbreaking, I was able to monopolize the laundry room today and finish the rest of my laundry. Now my desk chair is empty, I was able to organize my desk, and I feel a lot more put together. Little things really have a way of helping things come together. 

I started today with my usual prayer but I added a new affirmation that definitely encouraged me to maintain accountability with my goals. I said “I claim a positive and productive day for myself. May everything that is for me be presented to me and everything that is not for me be kept away from me. Allow me to take advantage of opportunities that are presented to me and walk on the path that you lay out for me. Let me play the role that you want me to play and handle everything that comes to me in the way that I am supposed to.” It definitely set the tone. Now, granted, I didn’t have class today, and the sun was peeking through the clouds but it felt like a good day. And it was. I had a successful meeting, avoided getting an order of fried wings and french fries, I’m 2 cups away from being wine drunk, I’m writing for the second day in a row, did the dishes, my laundry, and am preppin’ for Spring Tryouts tomorrow. Someone also put some money in my bank account. 

I live in my head a lot but, I realize that in order to live the life that I want for myself, I am responsible for setting that foundation. No one is going to do it for me, which is something that I’ve always known, but I’ve had a hard time implementing it. I’m trying to take those small steps to help make my day-to-day life easier/more fulfilling. Sometimes, it can feel like there is a lot that is pointless or unfulfilling and I need to keep the momentum going.

Maybe one day soon, I’ll start working on toning my stomach.

Edit: Aside from some inconsistent at-home workouts and a few personal training sessions 2 years after this draft was written, there has been no consistent effort to tone my stomach.