CSZ Rambles: 2/15/2018
Entry #4
This entry explores themes of uncertainty and precedes a transitional phase in my life. Plenty of episodes of CSZ touch upon these themes, so take your pick!
Vanessa Hudgens’ breakout album V is art.
Anyway, on Tuesday I got my first grad school acceptance. How cool is that? I don’t know if I’ll go yet though. I’m almost 60k in debt at this point and don’t really have any interest in adding to that right now. MBA’s are really sexy when you’ve got a game plan and want to advance your career but I still don’t know what I want to do so…..I’m not gonna pay just to be great. I can do that for free.
Separately, I’m really getting into the groove of things since it’s my last semester and what better time to get your life together than when one chapter is about to close? Such is life. I want to do a Ted Talk or something similar and it would be called “How to Get Through College Without Really Trying” and sell my secrets to youth everywhere.
I’m also going to see Black Panther this weekend at a private viewing and I didn’t have to pay. C’mon, isn’t God good? And I’m being honored at a luncheon on Sunday. I’m happy.
For lent I’ve decided that I’m going to give up shit-talking. Steven Universe would want me to do better so I will.
I’m still on my journey towards finding peace within adversity; it is getting easier but I still wish someone would drop $1 million cash in front of me so I could flip it and start the legacy of generational wealth. Until then, I will utilize my resources. It’s February and I don’t know what I’ll do after graduation. I could go home and try to swindle the arts department into hiring me as a social media manager and community outreach programmer. I could stay here and get a job and go to grad school during the nighttime. I could pack some bags and go to California or Mexico or Spain and figure it out. I could live at home and go to grad school there. The possibilities are endless, aren’t they?
Times like this, it is especially important to not get lost in the sauce. I’m always surrounded by amazing individuals who are making a life for themselves but I have to remind myself that our stories and our paths are different, despite our similarities. We all look to one another for support and an idea of what to do next, but it isn’t always going to work out the way we think. The only thing that I can do is make sure that I am always playing the role that I am meant to fulfill and doing so very well. Me and mine are doing our respective thangs, and that’s all I can ask for.
Almost forgot! My old thing hit me up the other day. To talk about something that can’t be important because he was more concerned with the fact that I didn’t want to entertain a phone call. There really is no animosity or anything like that, but there are limits and boundaries that I’m comfortable with post-relationship that I want to adhere to for the sake of my peace, if nothing else. He said he wanted to talk, and then didn’t. The cooler thing was that I wasn’t too fazed by it. I didn’t spend time thinking about it after the fact. That’s what Kelly from Insecure would call “Growth”.
That’s all I’ve got for now.
In the words of the icon Lana del Rey, “give me a standing ovation” because I’m really out here doing the damn thing. I’ll catch you later.